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8 Rookie Mistakes I Won’t Make With My Next Baby
As I unpack onesies and organize chew toys in preparation for my next baby, I’m having flashbacks to my first time raising a newborn. Embarrassing flashbacks. Given what I now know about babies and...
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The Miracle of Life is Gross (And There’s Something Wrong With My Taint)
Always love to have a post up on Scary Mommy. Just beware, saucy language ahead. “Honey, there’s something wrong with my taint!” I yell to my husband. “Your what?” “My taint. How have you lived to be...
View ArticleI Used to be Fun–Now I’m Just Pregnant
I felt super guilty writing this. I blame hormones. Checking Facebook this morning, I noticed a cute photo of some friends drinking at a bar, arms around each other, mugging for the camera. I...
View ArticleMy 3-Year-Old’s Obsession with Pregnancy, Pubic Hair and Birth
“Do I have a uterus?” my 3-year-old wants to know. “Yes!” I tell her enthusiastically. “When you’re an adult, if you decide to have a baby, it will grow in your uterus.” “So I have a uterus all day?”...
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7 Secret Perks of Pregnancy Bed Rest
Those of you who knew me when I was on bed rest with Viv will not believe I am glorifying it now (I hated it!). But the grass is always greener. I’d give anything to lay down right now! Most moms...
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But, Wait, I Thought You Wanted a Little Sister!
My preschooler knew I was pregnant long before I planned to tell her. I’d been waiting to pass the genetic screening before I rocked my kid’s world, yet when I was only five weeks along, she threw her...
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Nighttime in the Third Trimester
I’m 32 weeks pregnant and exhausted. Bone tired, knackered, stumbling around like a drunken Zombie, making no sense, donezo, pooped. I could blame the bowling ball under my shirt, my high-energy...
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The Bizarre Reason Cops Busted Up My Maternity Photoshoot
If you’ve read any of my past pregnancy posts, you know I’m not one to glorify being knocked up. Beleaguered by symptoms, I usually come off more gripey than grateful. But despite the puking,...
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10 Reasons I’m Afraid To Bring Home Baby #2
You’d think I’d be less scared to have a baby the second time around. I already know what labor and delivery feel like, how to care for a newborn, and that my life will never be the same. I’m not a...
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Why Pregnant Women Cry – 40 Reasons For 40 Weeks
Pregnancy is an emotional time. There are happy tears. Sad tears. Scared tears. And “I don’t even know why I’m crying” tears. Maybe it’s one of these 40 reasons: 1. It’s Tuesday 2. That commercial with...
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